Wednesday, October 6, 2010

How are you healing your wound?

The grieving process is so difficult and never goes away.

Like a wound to the skin, the pain is unbearable when it occurs.  The wound is raw and bleeding.  The body is in shock, thinking, "Did this really just happen?"  You are in pain but can't really feel the magnitude of the pain at the moment the wound occurs.  You know something horrible has happened.  You quickly hold a tissue over it, put some neosporin and a band-aid on.  There, that stops the bleeding, for now.

Eventually, you take the band-aid off and expose the wound to the world.  The wound gets some fresh air and decides its time to start the healing process; it turns into a scab.  A scab is a hard coating on the skin formed during the wound healing reconstruction phase.  The scab shows physically- it is dark, dry and discolored.  It shows the outside world that something is wrong.  It protects the wound.  When the scab is comfortable that the wound can handle life without the protecting walls, it falls off and leaves raw and new skin, that will heal and turn into a scar.  That scar is very visible at first and then over time it fades, but it is ingrained in you for life.

Everyone has scars, whether they be physical and/or emotional.  While a skin gash is physical and outside of the body, the emotional body does the exact same thing, internally.  It's nature.  The body learns how to recover from tragedy.  When you lose a loved one, you need to teach yourself how to recover and reconstruct your life.  In a sense, bandage and tend to the wound, then, let it heal.  Rituals can help by doing your normal routines (showering, going to work, making dinner) but what helps you have life and passion again?   How do you get through the days?  What heals your wounds?

In writing this book, I am looking for tips on what will help others with the grieving process.  Those who have experienced grief can offer the best advice and tips.  Please share them to help others!

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